My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
