Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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