he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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