he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
We got so high we made milksteak
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
