Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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