Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
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