His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
