Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize
