apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I need a burrito and a hug.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
