3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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