i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
