Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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