Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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