I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
