ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I touched a dick in church today
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
