I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
