i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
