she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
