People with herpes should wear stickers.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
As shirtless as possible
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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