someone get that fucking seahorse.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
