My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
and she was petting her beer can
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
