You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
