I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
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