hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
