I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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