birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
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