yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
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