Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
