If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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