Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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