It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
do herpes really smell.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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