Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize