I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
