Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
