question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
So much Jack, so little girl.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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