my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
