It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
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