Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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