I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Randomize
