In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
