Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
