doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
