We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
