FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
