Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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