There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
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