im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
third nipple confirmed
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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