she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
