have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
