my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
